023. Bangkit!

Assalammualaikum wbt.

Alhamdulillah.

Aku nak cakap apa ini?
Blog aku bukan ada tukang bacanya.
Hanya aku yang menulis macam tak siuman bercerita sendiri.
Tentang hikayat diri.

Biarlah begini, mungkin belum masanya aku membuka seluasnya lembar diari ini.
Siapa yang menjengah, jemputlah.

Alhamdulillah,
now I learn how to distinguish unwanted feelings.
A little bit by bit. I have such strong support system.
Been cared like I am baby.
Been asked whether I am okay or not.

and nothing more I should ask.
It is not that I am craving for sick-self-attention or what not.
It is just, I was at the lowest point in my life, good friends and familiy are the ones that stays and support me from falling even deeper.
Random people I met, helped a lot.
New friends and etcera.

"Kau jangan kacau dia, aku bodyguard dia", Ain Farhana :')

Alhamdulillah.


Being in my field, staying up late night at the studio/room, socialize around,
I do admit, I am struggling with myself.
menjaga akhlak, ikhtilat, menjaga hati terutamanya.

Batas antara lelaki dan perempuan.
Moga hati aku keras dan tak secepatnya cair.
Sebab kadang, perlakuan lelaki selalu sangat membuat salah tafsiran pada si hawa.
Maka aku faham, apa yang si dia alami bila mana si teman dahulu mula berbaik dengannya.

Allah. cut it off.


Now, I just want to set my life again.
Re-plan.
Go travel.
Start business.
to Go get busy.
Make new friends.

and most important,

lock my heart again.

"kenangan 14th October 2012 , Alamanda"

Maybe the unsaid apology , is the best thing I could ever received from someone who has been asking me to stay all this while, but in the end, dia lah orang yang tanpa sedar atau mungkin dengan separa sedar atau sepenuh sedarnya dia, dialah yang menyakiti aku hidup-hidup.

I shall not forget you, I shall not out any regrets of knowing you and you,
dendam itu musuh pembinaan iman.

Makanya, doakan perjalan aku kali ini lebih mantap.
Agar menjadi hamba yang bermanfaat pada hamba-hamba yang lain.

EnsyaAllah.


And now I feel like I am writing a speech.
tadaaaa.

p/s : for how far you go, all the memories and the words you have said, are still here. If I can't erase you from my mind and heart, I will always let you be in my deepest and humblest prayers. For everything, is in the hand of Allah swt.